Technology and traditions are incompatible(for & against)
Throughout the ages , man has brought numbers of countless inventions that are able to change darkness to light. these (P) technologes overcome the tradition which to a large extend (S)disappear.. (P)
What is YOUR position, Noura?
lets (P) take our country (sorry which country?) as an example; I believe that with the developments and civilization lots of heritages (G) has been lost , no wonder ; technology and modernization became incomptible (S). How? Write your sentences in a block paragraph.
The herbal medicines and the old ways of treating is changed in to an easy used medicine which are very effective. (Good example needs better English).
Traditional buildings are totally replaced by modern ones,which are safer and comfortable.
As a matter of fact human history is a process of replacing old , bad things with the newer and better. Not so sure of that, Noura, you could say "old is gold"...
On the other hand , tradition and modernization may reciprocate (WC) each others,for instant; (S/P) regarding the traditional dresses which are seldomly wear (G),the technology(internet)has benifit from this by selling them abroad ,furthermore, lots of accesories and products are produced in a modern assembly line. Separate sentences PLEASE! What is your point here?
When we found (G) some old medicine with poisinous (S) elements ,we started to take the idea of extacting them from herbs so, reducing the side effect which occurs before extractions.
Where is the culture here?
In sum (WC), some tradition and tecnology are compatible ,other time it may conflict.when (P)conflict occurs neither tradition nor modernization automatically take precedence over the other. Er, yes so there is no clear answer according to your discussion. Why not be more specific?
Thanks Noura, an interesting first effort with lots of potential. Try not to over-complicate your argument.
NOURA
1 Comments:
Well done, Noura, for taking the trouble to post this on the weblog.
I, Dr Rashid or any of the past students will comment on your text in more detail.
At this stage, let me just make a few points:
. I see lots of ideas
. the four paragraph framework is sound
. you answer the question from both sides of the question
. you give relevant examples from your own culture
You need to look at:
- avoidable spelling mistakes
- keeping your sentences shorter
- giving a clear 'thesis' statement in the first paragraph
- having a 'killer' conclusion that wraps up the essay and complements the introduction
All in all, a commendable start young lady, good job Noura!
So, are the others prepared to 'nail their colours to the mast' (a seafaring expression from our rich naval heritage)?
Let's hear from you.
I will try my best to give online feedback for Noura's essay, unless anyone else (other blog administrators) want to do so as well.
Bye for now
Tony
By
Tony Beale, at 9:23 am
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