MELTING OF TRADITIONAL CULTURES BY TECHNOLOGY

Technology has made a lot of changes in our society.Although people benefit from it in all fields , I think technology causes melting(WC) of our traditional cultures which in turn separates the generations from their origins. (A good brief intro.The writer seems to follow a dissertaion approach)


As we deal with daily changes in technology , one can identify the difference between situation before and after introduction of new developments .Easy(P) and fast communication between people,(P) by chatting through telephones and internet hinders(G) the nice,(P) innocent and(G) intimate relationship of members in one(P/WO)(among members of a) family and community. Love and friendship has(G)(have) been lost ,as (people) interaction(among people) is less than before .Television(P) and computers have replaced(G) the wonderful family’s meeting(WO) all over the world. I believe that ,technology has adversely (impact) affected our social traditions.Have(P) you thought about music sounds ,clothes, sports and arts?(You should describe the impact of technology on music sounds,clothes etc.)
Countless changes in all these aspects of cultures , make(s) one ask(s) himself o herself(onself) this music or clothes(which music and clothes) belong(s)(G) to which culture?


In my opinion, with good resources of economy as technology is applied in all branches(braches of what?) like(such as) commerce, health, education , construction , intertainment…..etc.(incomplete sentence )
Many people prefer earning money by comfortable jobs rather than being involved in traditional careers like (including or such as)diving and handmade production(handmade production of what?)…I do agree that progress of our countries for(to)(G) some extent,(P) depends on how technology is involved in it, but still there should be somebody (is)(G) doing our grandfather’s(grandfathers') jobs.

To summarise or in conclusion or in a nutshell,in my view, building of civilized cultures needs to have modernized things to be used , but it is a quest of (for)(G)balance between the past and future..let us make our traditions alive in all days (WC)by teaching it to all generations and applying it in our life…

Overall,a good effort.However,you need to concentrate on spellings and grammer.Suuport your arguments with examples from your experience and observation of your country and culture.Keep it up.



Ameinah